Free Tibet!

with every 4 gallons!

no, but seriously..

this china business is seriously getting my goat. Not only are they hiking hotel and flight prices now that the olympics are nearly upon us, the illustrious gang of idiots over in zhongnanhai have also deemed that all cross-border business should now be as difficult as possible until well after the torch has eventually been snuffed out.

it's fucking stupid and downright annoying!

and as for all these dickheads who have changed their MSN names to (L) china (insert name here)

I'd like to see how much you loved the place if you were arrested on a whim by the PSB just for being within close proximity to a protest.

china!..PAH!...I fart in your general direction!

wow!

it's like a time capsule!..over a year since my last post and it's still up and going.

Maybe I should start posting again..I'm in 2 minds though (and that's not to say I'm schizophrenic)

we'll see..

Henry

no comment

seems if u ignore haloscan for long enough, they delete your comments..

now I know how thingfish feels!

ssshhh!!

quick, while nobody is looking!

I found a few weeks of time off, and after sunning myself in thailand for the last fortnight, I'm back with a week to spare before I have to get back to my promethean just-desserts which I call work.

I may even post something..keep your eyes peeled, but don't hold your breath!

in the meantime..have a look at a worthy carrier of the obnoxious gweilo crown..MGB

it was fun while it lasted

Due to time constraints and generally not being bothered any more..

I've decided to call it a day with Waaah!

So long, and thanks for all the fish..

you can remove your links to here now..leave this blog to die in peace.

Henry

PS. From time to time, I may post something on here but don't hold your breath..besides, thingfish is so much better than I.

tor - again

tor is great, tor is fantastic, come on tor, let's swim I say...

well, actually tor isn't like dave (it's a long story...ask a middle-aged brit)

it's great...I go to check on blogs from my countrymen....I get the ominous "resolving host...blah.com"...then I hit the tor button on the bottom right of the firefox window...hit refresh...BAM (and I mean !!*BAM*!!, but I don't want to waste your precious bandwidth)...I get my desired content.

and as usual, it's complete shite!

but you gotta love TOR....you get instant access to crap no matter where you are...even if it's been banned cos its crap!

at least I have the choice to say "this is fucking crap, why did I waste my time on this?"

chant that daily mantra....

"it may be shite, but at least let me decide that it's shite"

geeky stuff

hello did you miss me?

ok, some really nice geeky news which amnesty peeps would be very interested in (and most normal people who like to get their news online whilst in china)

tor

that's TOR for those who only speak html...

it's great, it's secure, and it allows you to view whatever you want on the interweb...no more censorship for me!

by the way, I'm posting this from shanghai, so I know it works..blogger doesn't even resolve here using a normal connection.

pass the word on...let speech be free!

relatives?

could these 2 be related...

one is a ruthless criminal intent on total domination of everything he encounters...the other one is a fictional character..

I'll let you be the judge.



compare and contrast..

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Here's wishing all my readers a very happy and prosperous year of the bitch!

the clock has turned round a full 360 degrees since I first arrived on the shores of HK...the first CNY I experienced was a bitch year...

sam seung see sing!

Henry.

What I'd really like for my birthday..

The answer to all those difficult HK parking problems..got hassles with idiot drivers cutting you off on highways?..not any more pal!..just flatten the bastards!...gridlock is a thing of the past with this baby...just imagine, driving into central at lunchtime and not having to stop for half an hour to deal with the traffic snarl outside the HK bank building..

if anyone out there in reader-land is feeling a little generous..you know what's on my wish-list.

(and I bet fumier would love one of these too!)

Valentine's is just around the corner..

Get your orders in early for the perfect present for your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/security guard/boss/secretary/pet (insert animal name here)/car...(delete as necessary)

if it was good enough for jimi hendrix...

oh and..Happy birthday to me!

today's timewaster

sober santa2

definitely a HK type of game..I can just image santa running around wanchai in that state!

Just to put you in the mood..

*That* film!...with rabbits.

Santa Baby..

Dear Santa,

How are you doing old bean?..it's been a while since I last wrote a letter to you, in fact I think the last time I was about 4 years old...you didn't send me the Stretch Armstrong that I asked for, but never mind. I'll let that one go..time is a great healer you know.

Anyway, back to the point of writing to you..does it not get on your nerves that the only people who write letters to you are asking for something?..I mean, nobody ever just drops you a line to ask how things are going, whether you got rid of that nasty spot of reindeer pox, or just to share recipes and such..what is the world coming to eh?..when all you get are begging letters from children who you know are lying through their milk teeth, telling you they've been good all year.

Lets face it, children.. by design, are naughty..they annoy, they complain, they demand, in fact I could possibly say that the only only time a child is *actually* good is when they are unconscious.
But do you get letters from little Johnny or Doris saying "Dear santa, I've been unconscious all year"?? no, you don't...and do you know why (I'm sure you already do, but I'll tell you anyway)..because if they have been unconscious all year, they wouldn't be asking for xmas presents...they wouldn't be asking for anything actually because they would still be comatose in order to carry on being good!

OK, so that aside...the real reason I've written this missive to you..what I want for Xmas.

For my present this year, I would really appreciate it if you could supply me with my very own lift..it doesn't have to be a big swanky affair, just a simple 4 person unit.

This will enable me to stop having to use the communal lift with the muppets who cohabit my building with me.

Just think of how much good it would bring the world...I would emerge from my building, completely happy, unruffled by any experiences of severe muppetry which I would inevitably be confronted with in a communal lift...I would then be able to go on to work with a smile on my face, and so spread joy to the rest of the people in the world.

Now wouldn't that be worth it?

As far as delivery goes, I don't have a chimney, and lets face it, bringing a lift down a chimney is a pretty dumb idea anyway..you may as well install the bloody thing at the top of the chimney then just hop into it and press the down button.

No, I don't have a chimney...but you could just install said lift onto the outside of the building I live in, so that it begins at the large balcony doors, and then goes all the way down to ground level...Simple..no fuss!

Oh and you would be advised to get an EMSD lift maintenance certificate for it prior to installation, otherwise I'll be waiting until next year for the inspector to come round and declare it usable.

I would leave the obligatory mince pie and glass of wine out for you on xmas eve, but I heard you were suffering from a spot of gout, so that would be a bad idea...I'll leave you some celery sticks and 3 litres of water for your enjoyment as I'm sure installing a lift in your busy schedule on xmas eve will no doubt work up a healthy sweat.

Love and kisses,

Henry

bored in the office? (one for shaky)

Stuff that you can make from normal office ingredients in order to cause mayhem and destruction against your workmates.

Don't hold me responsible for any sacking which may ensue from using this gear though.

travelling

again..

saw a bag with this on it whilst I was in bangkok airport on monday..

thought it was quite apt!

cooking....

never let it be said that chinese cooking is inefficient...everything gets chucked into the same wok, then fried to submission, or steamed...then poured out onto a dish, and then the same wok gets a new batch of ingredients for the next dish..

but chinese cooking western dishes....that's a different matter...

at least it is in my house! (ok, house is a big exaggeration...)...

let me rephrase that...

at least it is in my shoebox in't middle o't road! (albeit 30-odd floors up, but nevertheless, it's the same size as a shoebox)

the wife...bless her cotton socks...loves cooking....

in fact she's very good at doing what she knows...

but throw a spanner in the works, and forgive the french, but you're fucked!

it's been a fair few years since my wife made a lasagne....one which worked anyway..we had one tonight, and it was excellent!

however, the washing-up bill was HUGE!! (by bill, I'm talking about my job of ridding the kitchen of dirty dishes...everything you ever wanted as long as it was covered in axe liquid...why do they call it axe by the way?...is it because it 'cuts through' the grease, or is it because it treats your hands to the same sort of harrassment that you get if you have to chop a tree down with a blunt axe?)

I feel I digress...

we used just about every bloody pan in the kitchen...this in itself is not an issue....I remember a christmas a few years ago, when the family ganged up on my wife and insisted that she made a full chinese dinner for their yuletide repast.

luckily, we were having the dinner at my sister's place...so my wife made sure they'd never forget, and used every single pot, pan and metal utensil in my sister's kitchen...they were washing up well into boxing day!

but, back to the plot...

meanwhile, back at the ranch, I've been washing up since we started preparing for dinner...that was about 7pm (once we got the necessary meat and veg)...it's now well into sunday morning, and I've just finished.

it was a bloody good lasagne though!

whoops!

these cars were probably destined for the HK market.

but while I'm here...

the estate I live in is proud to show off the fact that their offices are now taken over by the link.

yes, that new government spinoff that has failed to list on the stock exchange 3 times so far...but they'll get there this time no doubt about it..

what's getting my goat is the fact that just before they list and go private, they are spending a fuckload of shekels on revamping the public areas of this estate.

what used to be painted concrete is now currently all being drilled and chiseled off, to be replaced by individual terracotta tiles from germany (of all places)

now I may be an idiot, but as far as I was aware, terracotta would be a shitload cheaper if it was made in china and not bloody germany..plus it obviously had to be shipped here (as there are rather a lot of pallets full of boxes of tiles by the carpark)

so it seems as if the link are shelling out all the reserve cash they have for this year from the government in yet another pointless exercise which is purely for the purpose of wasting money...(presumably the cash reserve will be taken back once they go public) jeez, if they wanted to get rid of their cash so badly, they could have just given it to me, I'd have written them a receipt!

but then again...I sense a business opportunity on the horizon....(being a manchester lad..you just can't get rid of the breeding!)

anyone want to buy some cheap tiles?...really nice quality stuff...made in germany you know!

I have enough to cover a small housing estate if anyone's interested...but hurry, they are disappearing fast!

who?

it's been a really long time since I posted to this blog..

I'm still so fucking busy I need to book time off just to have a shit..

it seems like there are so many other hk blogs out there now...

I've dropped off the links of most of the ones I used to be on..

should I carry on with this?

what do you think?